I made the CBC nonfiction short list. I was unsure whether to mention it, when the list was announced yesterday. The story is nothing to do with the building or homesteading that remains the focus of this blog. It’s an intensely personal story. Both of these things factored against posting my news here.
Ultimately though: you are all a part of my journey and many have been since the start of this great experiment of ours. You’ve cheered on our victories and encouraged me during times of frustration, and graciously even shared your own triumphs, tribulations, and aspirations. I may not have met everyone face-to-face but you are just as real a community as the one that I live in.
Like all of our adventures, writing is something I’ve embarked on without a clear map or idea of where it’ll take me. This seems a good start though. You can see all five of the finalists for the creative nonfiction prize here, including my own, “Some Distant World.”
Erica and me, Montreal, 1990
One of our last mother-daughter road trips together
Canadian Dirtbags 
Congratulations Brandee! You are full of surprises…….well, maybe I am not all that surprised. I am a little in awe not just of your writing talent, which is getting some well deserved recognition, but of your ability to include the painful parts of your story. It is easy to focus on the positive places that we plan to take our lives, and sweep the hell we have lived through under the rug. No story is complete that only talks about the good days.
Keep punchin
Mark.,
Thanks, Mark. You’re a wonderful support. 🙂
I’m a lurker to your blog, but wanted to say thanks for sharing such a deep piece of yourself with us. Probably wasn’t easy to do either…but you did and its humbling to know you’re not just a badass mama that can build things, you’re also a mom who loves her child, which is very touching.
Thank you so much, Tricia. 🙂
Reblogged this on Weaver Grace and commented:
Of course, when Brandee told me that her daughter died, I knew how painful that must be, but I had no idea, really. Her story gives me a glimpse of how painful losing a child is. I never took the time to imagine such detail, nor did I have the resources to do so.
Another friend of mine told of “viewing” a parent from a small room, on the other side of a window. The “unpreserved body” had to be isolated, according to health law. I greatly appreciate that Brandee was able to be “with” her Erica. Less theatrical.
Thank you, Brandee, for letting your heart retch out this experience so we can tread more silently, touch more gently, and see more clearly what such an experience is like.
Dear Reader, you have an opportunity to read, comment and vote for this and the other four finalists at the announcement page for the 2014 CBC Creative Nonfiction Prize.
Thank you, Grace. So very happy that you’re a part of my community. 🙂
I am sorry to hear of your daughters passing. The pain and grief that you had to endure was understood through your powerful writing skills. I have been reading your blog for a while now and have an admiration for your lifestyle and the fact that you are willing to share details of your homesteading.
Thank you so much, Brenda, and welcome to the community. 🙂
I like having the company of the memories of others (living and not) who aren’t able to see what I’m making in my little corner of the world. I make extra efforts in the name of each of them, sort of a prayer equivalent. I can now imagine pieces of your creations (and diligence, and discoveries) with Erica’s name on them.
Greg- is that you? We were just talking about you the other day- you guys just kind of dropped off the map.
I feel exactly that way, incidentally. I’ve gone so far as to have my right arm tattooed in her memory, a literal translation of the sentiment. 🙂
Yes we are alive and well, though steadily busy. We bought a house in a sweet little Manitoban town, garden the heck out of the property, have a choice cadre of friends, and a variety of busyness. It’s all adventure and surely more to come. Drop us a line some time ~ I will try to find your email.
Good for you guys! I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. 🙂
Sorry, Erica.
I edited it- should I even be allowed to do that?
I read a line or two — and then I have to step away. I come back and read a few more words. Then I breathe. Then I try I again.
I can’t say I have taken it all in. It is still mixed up with my own story. My own memories. The chord has been struck. It resonates deeply. Perhaps too deeply today. Maybe tomorrow I shall be able to listen more, and feel less. I don’t really think so.
I can only keep coming back…
I wish I was there right now to hold your hand. I wish I had been there then — for the same reason.
Thank you for the writing. Thank you for more.
Leni
Hi Brandee, I came across your blog from Weaver Grace and I want to offer my condolences on the loss of your daughter.
Hey Brandee, I was talking with the Analog man the other day and we were wondering if you guys are still kickin. Everything OK?
We’re good. Apathetic but good. 😉 I haven’t been to this site in ages, am just going through the 20 or so comments I’ve missed. How have you been? Do you have either of our email addresses? I’m a little better for staying on top of email…