As may have been obvious from my last post, I’ve had a rough week or so. It happens. I go through cycles of optimism (or the closest I get to optimism) and despair, directed related to how much time I spend with people.
I was doing just fine. Working away at our plans, on landscape design, hammering our details for the heating system, talking with other like-minded individuals and exchanging updates… It was really good. Times like those I think, “you know, maybe… maybe we can turn things around”. And then I left the property. Within a few short days I became convinced that we are all doomed.
In three days we managed to cover racism, bigotry, genocide, religious ‘reasoning’, and general misery in conversations with one person. Once again, Shane played the role of optimist in arguing against these issues while I sat there shaking my head. Did she just say we should kill for peace? I didn’t bother to voice my confusion and horror aloud. I just sank further and further into a state of despondency. Not because this one person has such extreme views, but in listening to her explain her thinking I realized that she is a member of the majority. Ours is the minority view.
Top that off with the mass consumerism all around us seemingly at an all time high. We don’t celebrate Christmas. We don’t celebrate any holidays, instead choosing to treat each day as special. Saving up our time, money and energy to be spent at certain times of the year just doesn’t make a lot of sense to either of us- so, we are neither rich nor poor at ‘this time of the year’ and decided to look for stove pipe that we need for the mass heater.
“Are you sure this is a good idea on Boxing Day?” I asked Shane. He reasoned that we’re never in the city otherwise, so why not. Reasonable enough. Oh. My. God. Canadian Tire was packed with people, all frantic looking and racing around, children in tow. Didn’t these people just finish shopping? Weren’t there months of shopping done in preparation for that ‘one’ special day? There weren’t even any sales on (except on tin foil and plastic wrap- which I bought lots of). What the f*ck were these people thinking?
Then we went to Walmart to see if they had a couple of Ts that we couldn’t get at Canadian Tire. (Please don’t lecture me- yes, I said Walmart. I will one day resolve never to step foot in Wally World again but so far that day has not come. I’m cheap and I need stove pipe.) If C.T. was a zoo, Walmart was a carnival. And again- no real sales, so what were all of these people doing??? Shopping their way to end times. Sigh. As I looked around I realized that not only would most of these people trade their children’s futures for an extension to the days of mindless shopping, they are actively doing just that.
Add to that the general background noise- popular media reports and so on. Did you know that the top Canadian ‘news story’ (as reported by most popular media outlets) for 2010 was the Vancouver Olympics? No mention of the massive overspending by our government on the G8/G20 and the horrendous human rights abuses by authorities resulting in innumerable injuries and false detentions. Also absent was any mention of Tom Flanagan (former aide to our Prime Minister) calling for the assassination of Julian Assange. Go figure.
I’ve spent the last week trying to recuperate. Focused in on our plans and positive direction, if not monumental impact. We got our application for trees in today, I’ve pretty much settled on my list of seeds, drafted a design for a combination rocket stove-mass heater that looks to have potential, and researched power options exhaustively (again). We also went to the dump earlier today for our own version of ‘holiday shopping’ and picked up some really cool stuff. That alone infused me with some much needed enthusiasm.
So- I’m recovering my focus. I need to live in the solution. I’m going to hermit-up and get my blinders back on- girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. The next few blogs will hopefully see me back on a positive trend.
I call myself a “Functioning Hermit” or a “Modern Hermit” depending on the day.
I avoid all stores as much as humanly possible during December and into the first week of January. If I have to go, I take a Wednesday off and do it then.
In short.. I can sympathize 🙂
Don’t fret Dirtbaggers!!!!
You’ve been living on “the compound” for a while, you’re going to get some culture shock returning to the city, for boxing day of all days!!! You’re CRAZY!
I don’t have my secret away from the city hideaway yet, probably going to be another year before i can seriously consider it, but I have shied away from the more “consumer whore” areas of our culture. Living in a city (toronto) I can’t completely escape it, but I to was blissfully ignorant. A few days before christmas, I realized i needed some peanut oil and a few bus tokens, where could i get both at one stop? THE MALL!!!! I hadn’t been there in 5 months or so, so i figured where better to go and get my jug of oil and bus tokens…
It was the monday before christmas
All the schools were out
The mall was packed with loitering teens and insane parents…
I nearly got pushed over in a Wal-mart (for a 400 lb man, that is a lot of pushing!) because a lady was insanely running to get a specific toy. I got bumped pushed and jostled by crazy people… I got my supplies and ran home to hide until yesterday!
Consumer culture is insane, and the push for “new” and “more” is dishertening indeed, but you’ve been on the oposite side of the coin for a while now, so it is even more alien to you!
As to the mentioned Wal-Mart trip……
No lecture here… Despite how “Horrible” they are, they do what every other retailer does, they buy large quantity and push suppliers for cheaper prices. Hate them all you want, but when your budget is very tight and you only have $10 to replenish your sock drawer, you can buy a 10 pack of XL socks (size 14) and get change back. If i went to a fine canadian equitable “sock provider” I’d be barefoot now. Do i wish they were more equitable in their practices? yes. Can i afford NOT to shop there occasionally? no. Maybe in the new year when money loosens up a bit, but until then, I need the low prices to survive.
It’s a new Year Dirtbaggers, Take your newly found grinder home and enjoy it!
On a final note I feel your pain on the power system research… I used to get home power magazine, I have researched solar and wind on and off for a while, I try to live a “simpler” life, les spower usage… but the thought of working out how much power i will “officially” need to run a small cottage and an outdoor kitchen is nervewracking! Am i going to have any entertainment, how much sun can i count on? Will a small wind generator be enough to help me? will i still need a generator??? if so how big?!?!
and i am just planning a “tiny home” summer place!
I think regular doses of anger are useful and necessary. It helps me keep on task by motivating me against the traps of delusion, ignorance, wastefulness, egotism, hate and sloth that underpin Western society… the stuff that we pretend isn’t there while celebrating Christ’s birth/death/resurrection, etc. As long as we’re not taking out that anger on others and instead turning it into fuel for change, then we haven’t lost perspective.
B R F W A might help when these things come round.
It comes from the article “10 things I learned at yoga teacher training.”
Breathe – Relax – Feel – Watch – Allow
I’m not too good on the allow part. Here’s the link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valerie-reiss/10-things-i-learned-at-yo_b_716619.html
it is #9 on the list. #10 might help too (grin)
I’d have to agree with Greg. I go through people-hating modes, as well.- I suspect it’s because we’re the minority. Sometimes we need a little injection of like-mindedness to perk us up when we’re having trouble doing it on our own. But, when that’s not available, anger can also be used to motivate ourselves to not be the things we’re so angry about others being.
As to the Wal-Mart discussion, I’ve managed to escape their clutches. What I learned is that I had to just STOP, and never look back. Granted, I had switched to an alternative “chain” store for a short period, before finding another alternative. It ended up being easier than I thought, though.- After my body became used to the healthier produce in the new store, it didn’t respond well to the cheaper, lower-quality foods. I admit that available resources played a huge part in this switch, though. I had to do some digging to find my new grocer, but it was only a few years ago that Wal-mart was pretty much the closest & most convenient option.
I don’t shop at Walmart either. I once bought socks as Sams – Walmart’s wholesale ‘club’ and they lasted a year. For socks I splurge and get gold-toe from Penney’s (a US chain). I’ve had socks 15 years from them so it is worth it. Walmart is like a drug. just don’t do it. I’ll go without underwear but not socks!
I so love reading your posts! I feel a bizarre connection with you and what you guys are doing. I can relate to pretty much everything you talk about and how you feel about the world. Jeff and I spent this past summer talking to EVERYONE about the current ‘state of the world’ and it’s crazy how many people have no idea what we’re talking about. Some will listen some look at us like we’re from another planet….”How can any of that be real? Wouldn’t someone have told us? Like the Government?” HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
We stay close to home as well. Going out usually just makes us frustrated and want to ‘take someone out’. 🙂
Jeff just finished building what was supposed to be a solar cooker (using an old internet dish) but has been now transformed into a ‘hay box cooker’. Unfortunately we haven’t had enough sun to really give it a fair shot. We got a 10ft dish from a garage sale in the fall and he can’t wait to see what we can heat up with that! (he’s thinking solar water heating system of some sort)
I’m also in the process of researching seeds and was wondering what you decided on?
Can’t wait to hear what you’re up to next (or still)
Here are a few links of things happening this year….
http://www.pathways2sustainability.ca/
http://www.vergepermaculture.ca/courses/permaculture-design-certificate-gull-lake-2011
If nothing else they are great websites to add to your list of info!
We went with Prairie Seeds, as per Carissa’s suggestion, and the Cottage Gardener: http://www.cottagegardener.com/
What kind of set-up are you looking at building for water heating with the satellite dish?
My idea for solar heating is using a satellite dish to concentrate sunlight, and then water to move the heat indoors. I’ll line the 10′ dish with heavy duty adhesive chrome vinyl (I bought a roll from a sign shop). This should result in several thousand degrees F at the focal point. With my little 26″ internet dish, I can start a piece of wood on fire in less than 10 seconds, and the 10′ dish is 20x the surface area! For the focal point collector, I’ll weld up a black steel box with heavy steel pipe fittings. The water will pump through the focal point, and then carry the heat into the garage where it will pass through 2 truck radiators. Solar powered fans will move air through the radiators to remove heat from the water and heat the air in the building. The warm water will then dump into a large tank. A solar powered pump will draw cold water from the bottom of the tank and pump it back to the focal point. At night, I’ll shut the pump off so all the water flows back into the tank, and the heated tank will radiate heat to keep the building warm. The tricky part of this system is that the focal point will need to be fixed, so I need to work out how the dish will track the sun while the focal point remains stationary. It’s all worked out in my head, so now I just need the time and materials to build one. We’ll keep you posted! Jeff
Thank goodness for you!
Sometimes I wonder why I’ve become such a hermit and then when I get out into the “real world” I feel like there’s something wrong with me… so I’ll say it again… thank goodness for you! And for everyone else in this little minority of ours.
The reminder that there are others out there keeps me from feeling totally insane.
You’re all wonderful for keeping my spirits up and reminding me that there are perfectly sane and wonderful people out there. Thank you! 🙂
Wow! You found that grinder at the DUMP!?! Excellent! Here in the US you can’t get in to the dump any more…can’t have people reusing stuff. It’s just like the one that my mom had when I was little. Good job.
We hermits are not alone. There are many of us who go through the I hate people phases. And then just when I get really sour with it I will have an interaction or see something in someone that causes my heart to bloom open with love for human beings. Back and forth.
It’s good to have a place to get away from the crowd….avail yourself of all of the hermitage time you need.